Procedure for
relationship coaching
Every relationship is as unique as the people who have it.
This individuality makes a standardized approach impossible.
And yet it is all too understandable that many people ask for an assessment:
How long will it take? How much support do we need?
People seeking therapeutic support have a legitimate need for guidance.
They want to know what they are getting into – in terms of time, emotionally and perhaps also financially.
We design the process together with you – tailored to your concerns, your pace and what moves you. We involve you in every step and openly explain which measures we consider helpful from a professional perspective – and from our own experience – and why.
A typical counseling cycle comprises 4 to 6 sessions at intervals of 2 to 3 weeks. Depending on the topic, shorter or longer support may also be appropriate.
At the beginning, the focus is often on joint reflection. It quickly becomes clear that the relationship is more than just togetherness – it also reflects personal issues. The path together as a couple often becomes a journey of personal development.
For us, there is no right or wrong. Every relationship is unique – and an invitation to get to know yourself and each other better.
The following information only provides you with a rough framework. Once we have gotten to know you, we will work together to develop an approach that suits you.
The contents could be as follows:
Getting started and understanding
In the first two sessions, we mainly listen.
Together, we find out what specific agreements and rules are needed so that you can embark on a path together.
This often reveals recurring patterns – those that repeatedly lead to disappointment.
Together we will develop tools for de-escalation.
If desired, we will suggest methods to improve communication and make it easier to deal with triggers.
You will also gain a theoretical understanding of your current stage of development and the associated challenges.
Understanding means recognizing and moving forward with courage
Now you are able to see your situation as part of an ongoing process – a model that not only creates understanding, but also encourages you to move on.
This is not yet a solution, but often results in a temporary “truce”.
The motivation to get to the root causes of the conflicts grows.
“Okay, we’re lost and stuck.” Or: “At last I can relate to my feelings and fears.”
Now that the foundation for conscious understanding has been laid, the real work can begin. The first step has been taken and the despair of not understanding gives way to cautious confidence – often accompanied by curiosity.
“What happens next?”
This question now determines everything.
It grows on the fertile ground of newly gained knowledge.
Recognize and change
In the following sessions, we will address the underlying causes of your conflicts.
These are often rooted in your biography – shaped by the family environment in which you grew up, by past imprints and old wounds that are repeated in your partnership.
Sometimes we focus on one of you while the other is there as a participant observer.
This promotes not only understanding, but also compassion for your partner’s everyday reactions and patterns.
Compassion as the key
Compassion is the prerequisite for forgiving and letting go of pent-up resentment.
Biographical work often reveals unconscious entanglements – with parents, parents-in-law, former partners or even your own children.
We work through as much of this biographical material as possible.
However, in the case of deep wounds or great reticence, it can make sense to take advantage of individual coaching sessions – especially if the shame of opening up to your partner is too great or if a separation is looming in the process.
The journey back to yourself
Whether it’s an individual or couple’s session – this section of couples counseling is intended to initiate the path back to yourselves.
It’s about questioning yourselves and the partnership in its current form in order to allow something new to emerge creatively from it.
In the beginning, it’s often just a small plant.
It’s up to you whether you nurture it or go your separate ways.
Integration and the future
In the following sessions, we will take a look back at the path you have taken so far – and together we will develop the next, harmonious steps for your relationship.
We deliberately focus on what lies ahead:
We focus your positive will and strengthen your ability to overcome future challenges independently.
Once the initial crises and conflicts have calmed down, there is room for something new. Now it’s time to look ahead again – with clarity, confidence and a new perspective.
Long-term support – at your own pace
At the end of the more intensive phase, we clarify with you whether further topic-specific sessions make sense.
If so, we develop a longer-term plan together – tailored to your topics and priorities.
In this phase, the sessions usually take place at longer intervals – around every six to eight weeks – and can extend over a longer period of time.
You decide for yourself how long.
After all, personal growth is not a goal – it is a path that is constantly evolving.
