The Relationship Coaching
Process
Every relationship is as unique as the people in it.
This individuality makes a standardized approach impossible.
And yet, it is all too understandable that many ask for an assessment:
How long will it take? How much support do we need?
People seeking therapeutic support have a legitimate need for guidance.
They want to know what they are getting into – in terms of time, emotions, and perhaps finances.
We design the process together with you – tailored to your concerns, your pace, and what moves you. We involve you in every step and openly explain which measures we consider helpful from a professional point of view – and from our own experience – and why.
A typical counseling cycle comprises 4 to 6 sessions at intervals of 2 to 3 weeks. Depending on the topic, shorter or longer support may also be useful.
At the beginning, the focus is often on joint reflection. It quickly becomes clear that a relationship is more than just being together – it also reflects one’s own issues. Thus, the path together often becomes a journey of personal development.
For us, there is no right or wrong. Every relationship is unique – and an invitation to get to know yourself and each other more deeply.
The following information only provides a rough framework. Once we get to know you, we will develop an approach together that suits you.
The contents could look like this:
Entry and Understanding
In the first two sessions, we mainly listen.
Together, we find out what specific agreements and rules are needed so that you can embark on a common path.
Recurring patterns often become visible – those that repeatedly lead to disappointments.
Together, we develop tools for de-escalation.
If desired, we suggest methods to improve communication and make it easier to deal with triggers.
You will also gain a theoretical understanding of your current development step and the associated challenges.
Understanding means recognizing and courageously moving forward
Now you are able to see your situation as part of an ongoing process – a model that not only creates understanding but also encourages you to move forward.
This is not yet a solution, but often a temporary “truce” arises.
The motivation grows to engage with the deeper causes of the conflicts.
“Okay, we’re lost and stuck.” Or: “Finally, I can classify my feelings and fears.”
Now that the foundation for conscious understanding has been laid, the real work can begin. The first step has been taken, and the despair of not understanding gives way to a restrained confidence – often accompanied by curiosity.
“What happens next?”
This question now determines everything.
It grows on the breeding ground of the newly gained insights.
Recognizing and Changing
In the following sessions, we dedicate ourselves to the deeper causes of your conflicts.
These often have their roots in your biography – shaped by the family environment in which you grew up, by earlier influences, and old wounds that are repeated in your partnership.
Sometimes we focus on one of you, while the other is present as a participating observer.
This not only promotes understanding but also compassion for the everyday reactions and patterns of your partner.
Compassion as a Key
Compassion is the prerequisite for forgiving and letting go of accumulated resentment.
In biographical work, unconscious entanglements often become apparent – with parents, in-laws, former partners, or even one’s own children.
We work through as much of this biographical material as possible.
However, in the case of deep wounds or great reluctance, it may be useful to take individual coaching sessions – especially if the shame of opening up in front of the partner is too great or if a separation becomes apparent in the process.
The Journey Back to Yourself
Whether individual or couples session – this section of couples counseling is intended to initiate the path back to yourself.
It is about questioning yourself and the partnership in its current form in order to create something new from it.
In the beginning, this is often just a small plant.
It is your own responsibility whether you cultivate it or whether your paths separate.
Integration and Future
In the following sessions, we take a look back at your journey so far – and together develop the next, coherent steps for your relationship.
In doing so, we consciously focus on what lies ahead of you:
We bundle your positive will and strengthen your ability to independently cope with future challenges.
When initial crises and conflicts have subsided, space is created for new things. Now it is a matter of clearing the view forward again – with clarity, trust, and a new perspective.
Long-term support – at your own pace
At the end of the more intensive phase, we clarify with you whether further topic-specific sessions make sense.
If so, we will develop a longer-term plan together – tailored to your topics and priorities.
In this phase, the sessions usually take place at longer intervals – about every six to eight weeks – and can extend over a longer period.
How long is up to you.
Because personal growth is not a goal – but a path that can continue to evolve.
