Couples-Counselling
Imagine your partnership as a mobile.
You are the figures in it – whether you want to be or not.
Everything in the past, every action, every thought of one influences the other. You can resist it, you can insist on your freedom and independence – but you remain part of this mobile.
You are connected. And everything hangs by a thread. The mobile swings – and you move with it.
More hangs in this mobile than you might be aware of:
Past relationships, family histories, affairs – even those only imagined.
Children, colleagues, role models, dreams.
Your ideas of love. Your fears. Your longings.
And all that you haven’t said yet.
Some things swing almost imperceptibly, others pull noticeably at the threads.
A Systemic Web
Your entire unconscious – and the unconscious of all other figures in this mobile – is part of your life.
The idea of such dependencies can cause discomfort – especially in times of crisis. But since entanglements in relationships cannot be prevented, it is crucial to better understand your personal mobile.
Who else is involved? What is constantly resonating without you noticing?
The more you recognize your own parts, the more room to maneuver you regain – not to control everything, but to choose more consciously.
This is how a new understanding of the dynamic between you begins – and perhaps a glimpse of what it means to be truly free.
What you understand, you can change. And what cannot be changed, you can at least name – and accept.
Know Thyself
The central questions that arise:
Why am I in this exact spot in the mobile?
What roles and identities are associated with it?
How do I maintain the dynamic of the mobile and my relationships?
What benefit do I gain from the current situation – and what is the price?
Who would I be without this mobile? Independent of my partner and family – all alone?
Did I want this life, children, career?
What are my hopes and longings?
What is my comfort?
Understand and Change
Couples-Counselling is consciousness work.
It shows you where you and your partner currently stand – and what paths are open to you together, but also individually.
The basis for this is a conscious decision:
for personal growth and for change.
The most important step:
to give up the search for “blame” in the other – and to grow beyond habitual perpetrator-victim dynamics.
Perhaps you will realize why your relationships always develop similarly.
And why, despite all efforts, old patterns keep recurring.
As soon as you see through these connections, change often begins quite naturally.
You find your own way – and can do what truly feels right from within yourself.
This takes courage – the courage to honestly face yourself.
“Our lives are not our own.
From womb to tomb, we are bound to others.
In past and present.
And with each crime and every act of kindness, we create our future.” 1
